Your stomach churns with anxiety as your press your finger into the doorbell of Dan and Phil’s flat.
You can’t believe you’re even here - you’ve loved Dan and Phil for years, and now you’re making a collab video with them!
You’ve just recently hit 40,000 subscribers on YouTube, two of which are Dan and Phil. You’re also friends with Carrie, who you have to thank for your subscribers.
Your heart thumps faster as you watch the door open in front of you, and Dan’s there in his skull t-shirt and baggy gray sweat pants.
"(y/n)!" Dan greets you with a hug. You’re kind of short, so your head rests on the top of his chest when he pulls you to him, and you breathe in the scent of him. You only met Dan in person twice before, and you’ve been craving that scent ever since.
"What, I don’t get a hug?" Phil asks jokingly, pulling you to him as well. He’s so sweet, and his hug is so gentle - as if he feels like he’ll break you if he’s too rough.
"Shall we start the video?" Dan asks, interrupting you and Phil’s quick embrace.
"Yeah, sure," you say, nervously adjusting your hair. You know there will be hundreds of thousands of girls watching this video, probably suspicious that you’re either Dan or Phil’s girlfriend.
And you wish you were. You have had a love for Dan since you started watching him as a teenager. When you finally met them, you were unsure which one of them you actually liked, as Phil was so sweet and kind that you almost gave up on Dan for Phil.
But you just couldn’t do it. You loved how gentle and caring Phil was, but you preferred a boyfriend who is more romantic and forward - and you have yearned for Dan ever since.
But you’re pretty sure nothing will ever happen between you.
The three of you position yourselves on the floor of their lounge, where they film the superamazingproject, (although this us a video for Phil’s channel). You’re sat in front of an expensive looking camera and some professional lights.
You’re sitting pretzel-style next to in between Dan and Phil, but you notice that Dan keeps scooting closer to you, claiming he he’s to get in the camera shot.
"You’re in the shot, Dan. It’s a wide angle," Phil says, sounding a bit annoyed.
"Well I want to actually be seen in the video, I mean you asked me to be in it," Dan says, rolling his eyes a bit.
"No, you practically jumped out of your skin when you heard I was doing s collab video with (y/n), and begged to be in the video with her!" Phil blurts out, and then covers his mouth, realizing what he’s just said.
Dan turns bright red - and you’re having a hard time believing what you heard. But Dan regains his usual witty demeanor, and says, “Oh please! It’s not like you’re not in love with her too!”
"DAN!" Phil shouts, insulted.
"What? You said it first," Dan chuckles at the incredibly awkward situation before you.
You know your face is bright red by now, and they’re both waiting for a reaction from you. You look at Phil - his blue eyes are wide and starting to turn glossy. Then your eyes shift toward Dan’s, which appear on edge, but not near tears like Phil’s.
"Do…do you like…either of us?" Dan says hesitantly.
"Um…well," you say, but you don’t think you can tell Phil that you prefer Dan over him, especially as his eyes are so hopeful and eager.
They both look at you expectantly, waiting for an answer.
"Can….you give me some time to think about it? I really don’t want to chose, guys," you say.
"Me and Phil have talked about this…" Dan says.
Phil finishes for him, “And we decided that since we both like you, we should let you chose who you like, assuming you do like one of us. And the other won’t be resentful…or jealous.”
You feel like a blanket is smothering you, clouding your thoughts and stopping your voice. But you manage some words, “Um, okay. Uh…wow. I didn’t think either of you felt like this. How can I pick?!? I love both of you, you’re both so amazing.”
"Yeah, but do love us both in that way? Or just as a friend?" Dan quizzes you, raising his brows.
You know your answer, but you wont tell Phil that you don’t like him romantically, not here, not now, not like this. And you want to tell Dan that you do love him, but under happier, more private conditions.
"Give me some time to think," you say, "Are we still…doing the video?"
"Yeah," Phil says, "I’d like to."
"Right, because, no matter what you decide, (y/n), we’re all still friends," Dan concludes.
You nod, and the video continues as planned.
Dan and Phil take on what you call their “video personalities” where they seem happy and act jokingly no matter what is actually happening in their lives. You, however, aren’t as good at acting as they are, and are afraid you appeared uneasy throughout the video.
That night, you sit in your bed, and your phone rings - you look at the screen to see an incoming call from your closest friend, Clarisse. With all that was happening that day with Dan and Phil, you forgot that her plane was landing that night – she would be staying with you in London for a few months.
"Hello?" You pick up the phone.
"(y/n)? My plane just landed. I should be at your place in like half an hour," she speaks through the phone. You can hear bustling, commotion, and conversation in the background of her voice, as she had to practically yell into her phone over the noise in the airport.
"Okay, I’ll see you soon," you answer, pressing in the tiny button on the top of your iPhone and watch the light on the screen flash before going black.
You know you have to tell her; she’s the only person who would understand. You just need to talk to her about it soon.
The half hour you wait for her seems to take six years, but when she finally arrives, sets her luggage down, and gets settled in her pajamas with a cup of tea, you two sit on your bed, talking. You describe to her the whole situation – you relay everything that had happened that day.
She tells you not to worry, that everything will be okay.
“I want to tell Dan in person, but I really can’t see Dan without Phil being there. I can’t tell Dan, in front of Phil, that I fancy him!” you whine.
“Hmm…maybe I could come over? I’ll play video games or something with Phil while you talk to Dan. I’ll distract him. Tell him Dan’s helping you with some video editing, and I’ll keep Phil busy and out of your way,” Clarisse says, with a small smile.
“Thank you, so much,” you say, and lean in to hug your best friend. You clutch at her longer than you normally would. You feel so fragile and shaken up over this, you feel like if you let go, you might shatter into a million pieces.
You look into Dan’s joy filled eyes as you sit on his bed. You’ve just told him that you like him, and you have for quite some time.
He pulls you into a hug, telling you he wishes you hadn’t had to choose like that.
“I didn’t have to,” you say, “I knew I wanted you, but what was killing me was having to tell Phil the bad news.”
“You don’t have to – I’ll tell him. I think it’s better like that. When you leave later, I’ll tell him. You shouldn’t have to,” Dan says.
“Are you sure?”
“Thanks. Shall we go into he lounge and play some games with Phil and Clarisse? We don’t want Phil to get suspicious,” you say, and Dan takes your hand in his.
You walk through the hall together, basking in the feeling of holding his hand, and seeing how happy you’ve made him.
However when you’re about to reach the lounge, you and him separate your hands, as you agreed that Dan wouldn’t tell Phil until you left.
But that seems unnecessary as you and Dan gape at the scene in front of you.
The video game controllers have been abandoned on the coffee table, the game menu on the screen, declaring that it has been paused. On the couch, Phil and Clarisse are holding onto one another, Phil’s arms are around her waist, and Clarisse’s hands are in Phil’s hair. They’re kissing, to put it frankly – and quite passionately at that.
You and Dan look at each other, about to laugh at how incredibly crazy love is. You both kind of shrug, and Dan wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you to him, your abdomens touching. He looks into your eyes, and leans down to kiss you. You don’t feel guilty or embarrassed, seeing as Phil seems to have gotten a new girl to love.
You focus on your kiss with Dan, wanting to savor it. You feel his grip on your waist tight, and your arms wrap around his neck. All is right in the world.